The Spam Wing

Phenomenal Woman

2009-05-06T23:21:00.006+08:00

It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

- Maya Angelou

Adam Lambert - Tracks of my tears

2009-03-26T23:14:00.003+08:00

never was a fan of the nail polish and his general sense of emo style, but this, this was absolute awesomeness.

even smokey robinson (the original singer-songwriter of this song) gave him a standing ovation.

emotionally unavailable?

2009-03-24T16:24:00.004+08:00

a conversation i had last night made me realise that i rarely volunteer information about what i'm really feeling with anyone anymore, not even the people closest to me. only in moments of great joy/anger/pain/stress, or when prompted to do so. i've developed a certain guardedness about what i really feel.

i don't know what's happened that's made me this way now. i don't even bother to acknowledge my own feelings to myself, thinking its probably easier to brush that aside and get on with life. i remember when i used to pour my heart out into my journal, every damn thing got written in there - whether it was smart, stupid, funny or weird, heartaches to crushes, i mean literally EVERYTHING. re-reading those books again, it all seemed like silly girlishness. but i remembered too that it was a space where i could be free, where being who i am is enough, a place where i could grow.

i miss that, the emotional honesty, not just to the people around me, but first and foremost to myself. its hard work, and i know it.

i'm thinking it IS time for some hard work. wish me luck.

what we learnt about ember

2009-02-06T12:11:00.005+08:00

you can act like that (see photo above) and no one will come bother you.
the food is not much but everything tastes great, esp. the apple tart.
the service was irritatingly professional & good. i stress irritating. they gave a lot of information and came back too often.
the restaurant does not have a discrimination policy - they let us in even with a mustache. actually, some would argue that they let us in BECAUSE of the mustache.
but you still cannot wear berms/shorts to it.

re-reading the inauguration speech

2009-01-29T18:27:00.005+08:00

"Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends - hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence - the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny."

i love inspired words.

5 reasons to love 30 rock

2009-01-17T19:46:00.003+08:00

EU's art faux pas

2009-01-16T12:04:00.003+08:00

EU recently commissioned david cerny, a czech artist, to do a sculpture piece to symbolise the glory of a unified europe, by reflecting something special about each EU country.

well, the man's been known to make a mockery of establishments, so of course, he couldn't pass up such a fabulous opportunity -http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article5526676.ece

oh so funny. i particularly like his impressions of bulgaria, romania and france.

revolutionary road

2009-01-16T10:27:00.002+08:00

i'm only at chapter 2, but its already proving to be a good read. poignant at this point.

person of the year 2008

2009-01-13T17:46:00.006+08:00

no prizes for guessing who time magazine's person of the year for 2008 is.

when i read his interview with time, his responses to certain questions stirred admiration from me. they demonstrated a clear but driven mind, strong convictions/principles, yet balanced with a good sense of reality, much the person i aspire towards. and i wanted to post it, as a reminder to myself as well, as i trudge through life with my own set of challenges.

and i unashamedly quote from the magazine here:

was there ever a point in the election when you thought you were going to lose? when was it?

well, let me say it this way: there were multiple points throughout the election when i thought i could lose. including the day i announced. and honestly, you know we had a bunch of ups and downs in the campaign. i'll tell you what, though: the way michelle and i talked about it before we made the decision to get in this race was, if we run the kind of race that i wanted to run, if we were engaging people and exciting people and bringing new people into the process, if i was speaking honestly and truthfully about what i thought my priorities were, then i always thought we had a good chance of winning. and if we lost, that wouldn't be such a terrible thing. and that's why i think i stayed pretty steady throughout the race, despite the ups and downs.

there weren't that many occasions during this campaign - there were a few but not that many - where i wasn't proud of what we were doing or felt somehow that i was making compromises of my core principles. michelle and i pledged that whatever happened, we'd come out of this thing whole. and there wasn't any point in this campaign where i thought we were in danger of losing who we were.

what is it about your executive style that makes you good at standing up to big organizations to meet unprecedented challenges - whether it's the way you ran your campaign or now - so quickly?

i don't think there's some magic trick here. i think i've got a good nose for talent, so i hire really good people. and i've got a pretty healthy ego, so i'm not scared of hiring the smartest people, even when they're smarter than me. and i have a low tolerance of nonsense and turf battles and game-playing, and i send that message very clearly. and so over time, i think, people start trusting each other, and they stay focussed on mission as opposed to personal ambition or grievance. if you've got really smart people who are all focussed on the same mission, then usually you can get some things done.

i'm yours

2008-12-19T09:00:00.003+08:00

over the rainbow - sarah vaughan

2008-12-17T00:35:00.003+08:00

unexpected affinity

2008-12-09T23:41:00.006+08:00

a truly enjoyable evening, possibly the best time i'd have this week.

it was all in the name of helping 2 friends explore an idea - a bunch of women, in their 30s, somewhat strangers, in need of a nice meal (always), willing to share their lives - work/careers, relationships, family, their struggles, triumphs, and yes, even that no-carbs diet they've been on for the last year and a half (i have to admit, that one still sticks man.... *heh*).

i felt free and at ease to listen and share, an unexpected affinity with random strangers, and a deep sense of comfort that i'm not alone in this stage of my life, that underneath it all, we are the same.

thank you for the laughter and the sharing, and for just being real. =)

lasalle

2008-11-20T11:33:00.004+08:00

i love this building - there's something so surreal about the architecture.

and from whichever angle you take, the photo's still perfect.

you know christmas is coming when.....

2008-11-10T16:18:00.004+08:00

.....the starbucks cups arrive! *heh*

US Elections 08: The final lap

2008-11-05T11:51:00.002+08:00

US Elections - SNL (Part 2)

2008-11-04T00:30:00.007+08:00

tina fey and amy poehler - so damn talented.

for some reason, i can't seem to load up this vid. anyhows, you can view it here: SNL Hillary/Palin.

US Elections - SNL version (Part 1)

2008-11-02T01:23:00.004+08:00

i can watch this over and over again, and still roll over with laughter each time. *heh*

wow

2008-11-02T00:43:00.004+08:00

if he's really all that he says he is and will do, then there's plenty to be hopeful for in the America to come.

for alex

2008-10-23T16:03:00.001+08:00

i can't help it. *heh*

it is a gloomy, gloomy day.... =(

2008-10-22T18:55:00.001+08:00

greetings from pink city!

2008-10-21T17:17:00.006+08:00

work's been incredibly busy right before i left singapore (in fact, i still have a pile of stuff in front of me right now which i need to work on). but anyhows, since i got here, i've become part housewife, part tourist, and trying to get on with being a part worker while i'm here, which suits me just fine! *heh* its just going into autumn in the south of france, so weather's usually beautiful, reasonably warm with a breeze. i'd usually wake up when the sun's out around 9am, take my time to deal with breakfast, then head out around 11am to the markets or museums (whichever tickles my fancy that day), grab lunch then gym, coming back in time to make dinner. everything here seems to take a leisurely pace, and no one's in a huge rush to anywhere or anything. the streets are quaint (and plentiful!) enough to keep me wandering through them for hours (locating the LV or Mango shop proved to be a challenge), and the produce of the land fresh and sweet which makes for mean meals we could whip up in his little appartment. although i do miss good fresh seafood. =P

and the dancing has been pretty awesome! haven't been out that much, just an hour or so in the park with a swing band, and just that's blown me away. and anne-helene & bernard have been most welcoming. she reminds me so much of sing! *heh*

'nuff said. more later! =)

Yi Ren Yi Ban

2008-10-05T19:26:00.003+08:00

i finally got round to watching 881 the movie. albeit late, i know. =P

this song in particular, moves me in a way i'm unable to describe. i've heard daen sing it before (which i thought was fantastic btw), but listening to the accoustic version at the end of the movie was such a treat. hokkien songs have a special way of telling the story and expressing the writer/singer's emotional angst/pain/joy at the same time, which is extremely unique - sometimes making it completely laughable and/or achingly beautiful, or sometimes all at the same time. =)

irv + eun

2008-09-21T21:02:00.005+08:00

we went to irv & eun's little wedding celebration on saturday at handlebar. the party was quintessentially irv & eun (complete with the sparklers and handsewn streamers), and man, that margarita blender was a riot. seriously i mean how often do you have a motorcycle engine blend your frozen magarita for you??? *heh*

then they also gave out postcards with a picture of them in ikea *hahaha* and this adorable poem on it. and above is a picture of the ridiculously fun event they orchestrated a couple of yrs back, which i like to think was a key turning pt in them getting together.

anyhows here's the poem. its really sweet. and thanks for a fabulous evening guys!

i like you and i know why.

i like you because you are a good person to like.

i like you because becaue when i tell you something special,

you know it's special and you remember it a long, long time.

you know how to be silly, that's why i like you

boy are you ever silly

i never met anybody sillier than me till i met you

i like you because you know when it's time to stop being silly

maybe day after tomorrow, maybe never -

too late! it's a quarter past silly

if you find two fourleaf clovers, you give me one

if i find four, i give you two

if we only find three, we keep on looking

sometimes we have good luck, and sometimes we don't

i like you because i don't know why,

but everything that happens is nicer with you

i can't remember when i didn't like you

it must have been lonesome then

i like you because because

i forget why i like you but i do, so many reasons

you really like me, don't you

and i really like you back

and you like me back and i like you back

and that's the way we keep on going everyday

i would go on choosing you

and you would go on choosing me

over and over again

What's next? Same-sex marriages?

2008-09-09T17:35:00.002+08:00

Dear Mr Chan,

Obviously, you don't have any gay friends. No wonder you're so unhappy.

Maybe you ought to join Republican VP nominee Palin and migrate to Alaska.

I hear she suits your type, very anti-everything - abortion, gay marriages, conservation, big oil, etc. She also thinks global warming is not caused by human beings. So I think, all in all, there ought to be fewer gay people there.

Also, I hear you can get good crabs too. Seasonal though. Although, people die catching those crabs for dinner.

So, good luck hor?

___________________________________

TODAY, 9 Sep 2008, Voices, Letter by Anton Chan

MR HO Kwon Ping is wrong to propose the acceptance of gays into Singapore society because accepting a gay lifestyle would have a tremendous impact on society as a whole in terms of religious beliefs, social well-being and families.

As a Christian, I oppose legalising a gay lifestyle in Singapore because it’s against my beliefs. As a father of three teenagers, I care because I don’t want my children to be affected by such a lifestyle.

Imagine if we allow the acceptance of such a lifestyle in Singapore. What next? Legalise same sex marriages? Legalise adoption of children for gays?

Where are we as a socially-conservative society heading towards?

Soon gays will claim the right for social acceptance in all areas including education, welfare et cetera. What effect will this have on the next generation of children and parents who wish that their children will grow up normally and produce children in the normal course of their being?

The only strong contention in Mr Ho’s proposal is the so-called gay leading edge in the “creative class”. Doesn’t our society have many other people to develop and nurture? Why are we so eager to promote creative class talent in Singapore? So that we can become a more tolerant society to accept whatever lifestyle these bring? Definitely no.

I would like to borrow a similar argument by Attorney-General Walter Woon regarding the Human Organ Transplant Act (Hota). In “None above the law” (Sept 8), he said: “If Dr Lee (Wei Ling) disagrees with Hota, she is at perfect liberty to campaign to have it amended ... But until Parliament amends or repeals the Hota and the Oaths and Declarations Act, they remain the law of Singapore.”

If anyone disagrees with the law for gays as enacted by Parliament, he/she is at perfect liberty to campaign to have it amended ... But until Parliament amends or repeals the law of Singapore for gays, it remains the law of Singapore.

auntie in the gym

2008-09-04T16:44:00.003+08:00

was in the gym earlier and got into an argument with an auntie in the locker room. it reminded me of a typical gen x-gen y type work conflict.

i was done with my workout, was in the locker room, about to open my locker. an auntie like woman was standing close to my locker, changing into her clothes. i apologied first, and signalled that i wanted to open my locker door. she budged a little, just enough for me to open the door fully. unfortunately, somewhere between her wrestling with her clothes, she accidentally hit her head agst the door and "tsk-ed" at me. i ignored her, partly because i had already apologized earlier for inconveniencing her, and also because i didn't feel responsible for her inability to work within a tight space. (*haha* i am quite "qia" that way, i know)

that was when an argument ensued, something to this effect:-

auntie at the gym :
(glares at me) wah lao! close your locker door for goodness sakes!

me:
well, you could have moved in a little bit and you'd have enough space.

auntie at the gym:
least you could do is apologise!

me:
i did. i said sorry before i opened my locker.

auntie at the gym:
i didn't hear you. (grumbles under her breath)

auntie, if you're in the wrong, just admit it lah. older people are capable of apologising to younger people, you know.

mommy, mommy, is this all mine?

2008-09-01T16:21:00.004+08:00

if everyday was like this, i wish i was her age again.

dusting out the cobwebs

2008-08-27T23:16:00.004+08:00

met a new colleague today, who turned out to be a blast from my 16-17 yr old past. a past i'd rather not remember really. it felt like being forced to drag out the cobwebs from that part of the attic you've been ignoring for ages, and bring confronted with dusting it out for good.

actually, i don't remember him at all. (quite frankly, i don't expect anyone from my past to recognise me) he approached me first, asked if i was from this particular jc in this particular year. i said yes, and we quickly struck up a conversation.

but no thanks to my lack of thought and big big mouth, i think some affinity got destroyed. no, i didn't reduce the man's sense of dress or style (which i thot was fine btw). my downfall came when he asked if i hung out with a particular group of girls then. i said well not really, because the group politics got quite unpleasant, and i indicated i didn't like them one bit. too complicated, i said. it brought to mind a past of painful rejection, a past which i'd rather forget.

i now regret my hasty statement - i think i spoke too quickly. i didn't consider that maybe the man might be a friend (or i'm guessing at least aquaintance) of theirs. worse, maybe one of their boyfriends/husbands. *GULP*

oh well, what's done's is done yah??? me and my big and careless mouth. again.

peer pressure made up the absolute worst parts of my otherwise enjoyable jc life. actually, make that most of my primary and secondary school life. the notion that i was never good enough to be part of groups whose company i thot i'd enjoy, crept up insiduously and ate me up bit by bit.

this group of jc girls, especially, brought my feelings of being left out to a new peak. i used to watch a girl friend of mine pander excessively to them, coz she wanted their acceptance so badly. even then, she wasn't exactly included, if you ask me. i remembered resenting her for it. she's smart, talented, articulate in her own right. why stoop so low, i thought to myself, for so little returns.

but all that's in the past now, water under the bridge. its been more than 10 yrs since, and i've finally come to love and accept me for who i am, and just be secure in that. its a relief, yet i wished it didn't take me half as long to get here. but like it or not, that's my journey, and its made me who i am today. actually, not bad, i'd say. not bad at all. =)

salt - lizz wright

2008-08-24T14:45:00.005+08:00

took time this weekend to check out some of malcolm's music recommendations. the man practically lives in gramaphone. *heh* anyhows, found this awesome singer, lizz wright, with a fantastic sound - jazzy but chill, with a whole lot of soul.

salt's her debut album, also one of the songs in it. if you ask me, i think its the best song in the album. very inspirational lyrics set to a soulful r&b tune.

how can you lose your song?

when you have sung it for so long?

how can you forget your dance, your dance

when that dance is all you ever had?

it must be, it must be true

you can’t separate the two

oh no, you can’t

it’s impossible to do

just like the salt in the stew

oh my, it’s all

a part of you

one thing that life cannot do

life can’t do it no

it can’t take your song from you

Forced approach

2008-08-22T11:50:00.003+08:00

some nitwit of an uncle wrote to st forum with this:

'Introduce legislation requiring singles to participate in at least one fully-subsidised SDU activity.'

MR LIM KENG HIAN: 'We should not overlook another related issue of too many men and women staying unmarried. The number is sizeable and is worth paying more attention to for a more comprehensive solution to boost the birth rates. The Social Development Unit (SDU) can do its part by not just waiting for these singles to register with them; they should be proactive and reach out to them. One way is to ask companies to nominate unmarried singles for their various activities, fully subsidised by the Government. If this does not work, the next step could be the mandatory approach. The SDU could compile a database of unmarried men and women above the age of 26 or older and introduce legislation requiring these singles to participate in at least one fully-subsidised SDU activity.'

i say again - NITWIT.

i am woman, hear me roar

2008-08-20T00:17:00.010+08:00

16 weeks of maternity leave. great. up from 12 weeks from the year before. terrific. more time with her child. yeah, fantastic. and paid by the govt. impressive. *roll eyes*

have you considered how 4 months away from work disadvantages a woman in the workplace tremendously? she's virtually replaceable. it makes my blood boil when i hear of women getting fired or unreasonably dismissed just because they're expecting.

your new initiaitves make it easier for us to have more babies? all bullshit, i say. bullshit.

how about this alternative - how abt we equal out the playing field for men and women? have the 4 months shared equally between the father and the mother, and leave it to the parents to decide how they want to split the leave. and make this leave period portable for both. parenting ought to be a shared responsibility, and when employers see that both male and female have the same amount of such maternity/paternity leave, it no longer makes a difference whether his worker's male or female. then the capability on the job would count, rather than the gender. same goes for race and age btw.

but i bet you'd never have the balls to do that, would you? you still think men are more impt than women in the workforce. we're no lesser than you men, you know, you mysoginistic a**holes.

oh, and one more thing - you might want to consider extending these benefits, taxes et all, to the single mothers? i think they need it even more than the couples do.

if you want to see real change in this area, then have policies that really make a difference, send a strong signal that parenting for both men and women is impt. equalise the playing field. stop dangling a little carrot in front of us women, pay us lip service and then expect us to produce more children.

while i am appreciative that my country is trying to help, i am also flabbergasted by the assumptions that lie beneath these hand-outs. i'm guessing they are mostly made by men who fail to understand a woman's struggle in this society. maternity leave is only the tip of the iceberg. so so so much more can be done to promote equalityand get rid of gender discrimination. THAT, will solve you babies and marriage issues.

have some balls for once and make policies that actually work for women.

mad about english

2008-08-15T17:00:00.004+08:00

go watch this. confirm funny.

the best time of day

2008-08-15T16:44:00.003+08:00

cool summer nights

windows open

lamps burning

fruit in the bowl.

and your head on my shoulder

these the happiest moments in the day.

next to the early morning hours

of course. and the time

just before lunch

and the afternoon, and

early evening hours.
but i do love

these summer nights

even more, i think.

than those other times.

the work finished for the day.

and no one who can ever reach us now.

or ever.

poem by raymond carver

photo by stellou

2008-08-06T15:25:00.003+08:00

i have to say i got this off brenda's blog. and its had me in giggles since.

brenda's friend, goz, who is a singaporean but lives in the uk now, so decided to be patriotic this national day and wanted to celebrate it over there. so rightfully and logically, he called up our embassy there to ask if they have a celebration party that the bunch of them singaporeans could join in. but embassy told him there wasn't such a celebration because embassy didn't know how many singaporeans are living in the uk now.

what a crap excuse. poor customer service too, i reckon.

but goz, being entirely singaporean, wanted a platform to complain. so he writes in to mr brown, who was so moved by his letter that he published it on his weblog. and you could literally hear goz get angrier and angrier as he wrote on in his letter.

damn funny. i still have this silly grin on my face just thinking about it. *heh* goz, you're all our heros today lor.

2008-07-31T23:43:00.002+08:00

some of the national day songs i've been made to memorise way to in school back in the 80s and 90s, are still superbly good songs - lyrics well penned and inspirational, and the tunes not only easy to remember, but popular enough for everyone to hum along. stick in your head.

count on me singapore is probably my personal favourite. i still enjoy singing and humming along to it on public transport, trying to ignore the weird stares i get doing that (hey, at least its not mahjulah singapura). if i just close my eyes to everything else that's happening in singapore and just sing the song as it is, it can really make me cry.

aaah.... that fleeting moment of patriotism, when my eyes are closed ie.

when my eyes open, dick lee's rendition (see video below) seems more befitting, more real. *haha*

oh, and happy national day/public holiday/or whatever that day means to you. ;-)

2008-07-25T00:21:00.002+08:00

i remembered being a young dancer 6 yrs ago (gosh! has it been that long?? or longer??) scouring glitterlisa.com for videos to learn from. and that was before there was youtube!

this was one of the first videos i watched. and i remembered telling myself that i wanted to dance like that! =) elegant, clean, a seamless connection and flow of energy with my partner, yet filled with little surprises here and there. the tricks esp used to fascinate me to no end!

viewing the video again after so many yrs, well, feels different. the basic elements i like are still there, but there's a certain something-something that's missing, like a sparkle or an X factor. or perhaps it just looked too rehearsed. the performance could have been a whole lot more exciting just in terms of energy level.

Pushing out barriers to art

2008-07-22T16:21:00.003+08:00

part of my on-going reflection on what art is, its meaning and significane to others. this internal discourse that's been churning inside of me for years now, and until recently, found self-expression in the work that i do as well. its a joy (and a burden at times) to be in a job that is an extension of myself.

anyways, i thought this to be an insightful commentary piece stemming from the recent uob painting of the year awards. rather unusual for Straits Times to write commentaries, but perhaps not so much in this particular section of the paper on Saturdays.

____________________________________

Straits Times, 19 July 2008, S14 - Pushing out barriers to art

Controversy has been attached to the artist Joel Yuen's series of photographic prints, showing arrangements of animal parts, which won this year's UOB Painting of the Year. Some, it seems, call it in bad taste. Now, art needn't be controversial, of course. And neither does controversy validate an effort to artistry. Nevertheless, the debate is useful for providing an opportunity to further public openness to what constitutes art. Too often, art is expected to be pretty. (But though Jackson Pollack is hugely admired, his paint splats are surely disturbing to take in; not pretty.) Worse, judgement too often is deferred to the size of the price tag next to the canvas, sculpture, or print. (Yet many artists fail to make money for pieces that are eventually highly regarded. The art didn't change over time, taste had to catch up.)

Contemporary art can be difficult, certainly Mondrian's black-bordered squares and rectangles of colours are hard to appreciate at first. To put it in just a few words, contemporary art gives the narrative and ideas attached a far bigger role than previously in the history of art. What the artist is trying to say - and how - has become very important. Without this, a Rothko canvas might simply be a bunch of fuzzy-edged rectangles of colour. But even without a grounding in art, history - and remember, galleries often provide useful primers - art can still be approached at face value. It evokes an emotional response, and we might be convinced t read up. With a deeper background, our reaction then evolves. Art is, after all, a relationship between the audience and the work.

So while some may be uncomfortable with Mr Yuen's prints, his attempt to make his audience think about animals and consumption, by "taking (animal) parts and putting them together", clearly has sparked engagement with the work. One person who viewed it was quoted in this paper saying: "These photographs ae disgusting... (They) make me very uncomfortable. Even if art is not beautiful, it should not inspire such feelings." But instead, that's precisely it: art draws out emotions, even if sometimes disturbing ones. (Think Francis Bacon's disturbing human forms. or Fang Lijun's bald headshinting at untold stories that you subtly invited to draw out.)

Maybe the debate over Mr Yuen's winning work eventually wlll bring a fresh appreciation of art. This would support many local artists who may not now be readily understoof, from those working in traditional forms to the emerging digital media. The barriers are being pushed out. With luck, more of the public will venture into the space.

2008-07-19T10:08:00.002+08:00

i gave the meme i wrote more thought last night, in particular, the "if i were a billionaire" bit. somehow, the vision felt a tad too small. but i think the question's limiting too! =)

i suppose, just supposing, if i had unlimited resources and a good amount of power (money isn't everything), i'd like to:
1) change the way government is run and how countries are managed. most governments either view themselves as i-know-better-than-you and treat their citizens like complete dummies, or give their citizens too much power and themselves too little credit to the point of chaos or inefficiency. if i had money, the resources and power and influence, i'd like to explore how the fine balance could be found. Government was formed to represent their people and work for their best interest, not work against them.
2) overhaul public school systems. i think most public school systems under-estimate the potential of each child, and/or fail to nurture them in the talents they each have. "follow this set syllabus and get past the exams", the schools would say. "when you've completed your formal education, you can do whatever you want". what a load of rubbish. how many dreams have been squelched, potentials forgotten, curiosity and creativity just dummed down for mere mediocrity. when i think about it for my own children (if i have any), i would want the best for them - to learn the ability of inquiry and thoughtful assessment through home-schooling, to be inspired through story-telling as they do in jewish schools, to be fully self-expressed as we see in some of the private schools in Singapore. if every child was raised to be at their fullest, we won't be facing the problems we face today - few young artists, fewer singaporean entrepreneurs, and a general sense of apathy about the society around them.

Totally useless sex fact

2008-07-17T20:56:00.003+08:00

No. 37 on Cleo Magazine's 100 Amazing Sex Facts article:

December 22 has been designated Global Orgasm Day, an event conceived to effect
change in the energy field of the Earth through the input of the largest
possible surge of human energy. Participants are to concentrate all their
thoughts on peace during or after orgasm.

Riiiiiggght....... *hahahahahahahahaha*

meme

2008-07-17T11:13:00.002+08:00

stealing this from brenda's blog. i realise its actually a great means of self-reflection! =)

10 Years ago I was:
Pre-uni break - temping at a youth voluntary welfare organisation and getting intimately acquainted with the ins and outs of the photocopying machine (hey, even up to today, i'm prob the only person in the office who makes the best attempt at fixing the phtocopier *hah*). and falling asleep in front of my supervisor while trying to take notes at weekly staff meetings. *sheepish look*

5 years ago I was:
at many new beginnings.

Fresh from a trip to Japan and all happy and hopeful about my first boyfriend - a sweet, smart and ambitious American boy who lived and worked in Kobe. He was everything I thought I wanted in a boyfriend and husband.

Was also one of the most exciting points in my career - was part of a pioneer group moved over to set up the new workforce devt agency. Met the boss who would show me the ropes in the field of PR and communications (I wouldn't be this good at my job if it wasn't for her), worked and played mighty hard with a madcap group of colleagues, and made some lifelong friends.

1 year ago I was:
Fresh back from a study trip to London and Paris, and trying to run an international architectural competition for just about the two most important historical buildings in the city!! and with very little help. Although my boss and I made sure the jury members were fed well at each meal so they'd make the right decisions. *heh*

5 Things on my To-Do-list:
Practise my songs for exam!! (I've been lazy), make reservations at Sushi Tei for dinner with Mal & Kelly, sort through my mountain of mail, sew back on the buttons of shirts, and start working on that 3-page committee memo ahead of Monday's submission. Oh, and read that 500 page report in time for next week's meetings. *yikes*

Five Snacks I enjoy:
erhm, I don't snack - like that how??

ok ok, at most (but seldom) - coffee/Nescafe considered? other than that, dried prunes (there's only one brand I eat & can only be found in select supermarkets. everything else is too sweet), preserved plumes, a very specific brand of coffee-chocolate biscuits (can't rem what its called but i rem packaging), Cuppuccino-flavoured Maltesers. - Told you i was fussy!

If I were a Billionaire I would:
Be a domestic goddess like Nigella and have my own super-hot TV show and books! (minus the hefty hips and thunder thighs) the envy of all women and the object of lust for all men. *hehe*

Ok, seriously. Well, first, I'd make sure my family's completed covered - that there's enough money in the pot for them to do whatever they want for the rest of their lives. This includes my parents, my own family unit and my extended family.

Well, then maybe live in a penthouse, have holiday homes overseas for the family to use, be the founder and chairwoman of a number of successful businesses (real estate, communications & marketing, F&B, retail, etc), and then invited as a keynote speaker at important events/business meetings etc. And then at some point, write a book (not nec. auto-biography lah). But I'd also make sure I have time, money and resources to home-school my own children. And have time for my family. Oh, and start amassing an art collection that's actually worth something (method to the madness, rather than just madness). *heh*

Then, I'll start 2 foundations: one for children and youths who have a dream but have no resources to making their passions their careers, eg. to do musical theatre professionally, dance professionally, fashion designer, play tennis, etc - to be a platform that provides them the resources to live their dreams. the second foundation i'll start is a similar one, but for women, especially those who have lived all their lives suppressing their dreams and who they are for their families. Full self-expression for each of these individuals, that's probably the aim. =)

Five people/groups I'd want to have lunch with:
I'm assuming its people I won't get to see under normal circumstances.
My grandparents (mom's side, since they've passed away before I could meet them), my nanny (she passed on before I got to tell her that I loved her more than my own grandma), Barack Obama, Matthew Perry (coz he seems so darn funny!), Ella Fitzgerald (I'd want a voice lesson with her!).

Oooo oooo!! I have more:
- Anthony Bourdain, so he'd actually cook me a gd lunch! *heh*
- Nicolas Serota, Director of Tate Modern (coz I'm in awe of how he's transformed the place - this one still got chance considering where I work *heh*)
- Dostoevsky, author of Crime and Punishment because he is so brilliant a writer (and to scold him for the ending of that book!)
- Francis Ford Coppola, film director because he's such an extraordinary film maker
- the cast of West Wing because they genuinely seem like a really freat & funny team to work with!
- Haruki Murakami, author of Norwegian Wood (this one also still got chance, altho he's supposed to be painfully shy)
-Howard Schultz, founder of Starbucks Corporation because I'd like free coffee for the rest of my life and because I'd really like to work for him.

Five Places I've lived:
This one IS sad - Delta Road, Telok Blangah, Hougang, Tampines, ie SINGAPORE lor.

I stayed in Montpellier, France for 3 weeks on student exchange - does that count??? =P

Five jobs I've had:
Rookie photocopying cum admin girl at a youth welfare organisation, marketing & production bao-ka-liao in a Christian entertainment coy, Pro job fair organiser in the manpower ministry, marketing & communications specialist (i can sell almost anything!) in workforce agency, and biz devt & comms manager for a soon-to-be national art institution.

2008-07-14T18:11:00.003+08:00

can i just say i'm in complete AWE of this installation art piece from palais de tokyo?? its absolutely wicked!

its what i always dreamed i'd do in my former workplace with cheap walmart darth vader masks!! *muahahahaaaa*

2008-07-14T10:45:00.002+08:00

never in my life did i ever imagine myself singing rock. but i am, and am lovin' it too. it gave me my chest voice - finally!!

i really didn't expect it - but the more i sing it, the more i identify with the emotions in this song, and the more energy i can give to this one moment. feels absolutely fantastic.

___________________________

Torn
- Natalie Imbruglia

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry

Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know, don't seem to care, what your heart is for
I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
Conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's fine
I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn

So I guess the fortune teller's right
I should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
But you crawled beneath my veins and now
I don't care I have no luck
I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things
That I can' touch
I'm torn

I'm all out of faith this is how I feel

I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor

Illusion never changed into something real

I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn

You're a little late

I'm already torn

There's nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's right I'm torn

I'm all out of faith this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed bound and broken on the floor
You're a little late
I'm already torn.

Art

2008-07-13T22:47:00.003+08:00

"An old silent pond. / Into the pond a frog jumps. / Spalsh! Silence again." It is perhaps the best known of all Japanese haiku. No subject could be more humdrum. No language could be more pedestrian. Basho, the poet, make no comment on what he is describing. He implies no meaning, message, or metaphor. He simply inites our attention to no more and no less than just this: the old pond in is watery stillness, the kerplunk of the frog, the gradual return of the stillness.

In effect he is putting a frame around the moment, and what the frame does is enable us to see not just something about the moment but the moment itself in all its ineffable ordinariness and particularity. The chances are that if we had noticed a thing or, noticing it, wouldn't have given it a second thought. But the frame sets it off from everything else that distracts us. It makes possible a second thought. That is the nature and purposes of frames. The frame does not change the moment, but it changes our way of perceiving the moment. It makes us NOTICE the moment and tha is what Basho wants above all else. It is what literature in general wants above all else too.

From the simplest lyric to the most complex novel and densest drama, literature is asking us to pay attention. Pay attention to the frog. Pay attention to the west wind. Pay attention to the boy on the raft, the lady in the tower, the old man on the train. In sum, pay attention to the world and all that dwells therein and thereby learn at last to pay attention to yourself and all that dwells therein.

The painter does the same thing, of course. Rembrandt puts a frame around an old woman's face. It is seamed with wrinkles. The upper lip is sunken in, the skin waxy and pale. It is not a remarkable face. You would not look twice at the old woman if you found her sitting across the aisle from you on a bus. But it is a face so remarkably seen that it forces youto see it remarkably just as Cezanne makes you see a howl of apples or Andrew Wyeth's muslim curtain blowing in at an open window. It is a face unlike any other face in all the world. All the faces in the world are in this one old face.

Unlike painters, who work with space, musicians work with time, with note following note as second follows second. Listen! says Vivaldi, Brahms, Stravinsky. Listen to this time that I have framed between the first note and the last and to these sounds in time. Listen to the way the silence is broken into uneven lengths between the sounds and to the silences themselves. Listen to the scrape of bow against gut, the rap of the stick against the drumhead, the rush of breath through reed and wood. The sounds of the earth are like music, the old song goes, and the sounds of music are also like the sounds of the earth, which is of course where music comes from. Listen to the voices outside the window, the ning in the kitchen sink. Learn to listen to the music of your own lengths of time, your own silences.

Literature, painting, music - the most basic lesson that all art teaches us is to stop, look, and listen to life on this planet, including our own lives, as a vastly richer, deeper more mysterious business than most of the time it ever occurs to us to suspect as we bumble along from day to day on automatic pilot. In a world that for the most part steers clear of the whole idea of holiness, art is one of the few places left where we can speak to each other of holy things.

- Frederick Buechner

2008-07-04T14:26:00.002+08:00

in the wee small hours of the morning
while the whole wide world is fast asleep
i lie awake and think about the boy
and never ever think of counting sheep.

when my lonely heart has learnt its lesson
i'd be his if only he would call
in the wee small hours of the morning
that's the time i miss him the most of all.

every now and then, I remember what this song means to me. just every now and then.

2008-06-25T18:06:00.003+08:00

i know this sounds incredibly bad - i wanted to recommend terence to someone for web design work, and i didn't know whether he was in town for a meet up, so i ended up googling for his website in hope that i'd find some online schedule of availability of sorts. =P sorry dude, that's usually how i find out whether or not you're in town. *hahaa*

but amidst googling for the name "terence heng", i found some older poetry (erhm, i'm guessing its older at least) he's written and posted online. even in writing, he captures moments well (as with his photographs), with short succint sentences and words. the emotions are always heartfelt.

this one in particular, i liked - was smiling secretly to myself by the end of it.

perhaps i ought to speak to everyone in iambic pentameter. how annoying. *haha*

____________________________

near mornings
- terence heng

like criminals quietly confessing sins,
i say i miss you and you say you miss me.
we have no answers for each other, no sure-fire
quick-fire twisting wildfire
answer. nothing that would piece you together.

i miss nothing that you do not have,
dislike nothing i remember. i remember
little, as if we were like the haze
of dawn retreating to the dew on the grass
along with the darkness of near-mornings.
this is what i remember most:
the near mornings; the incoherent midnights,
the quick step-step of the rush back to go online.
the subtle tapping of mobile phone keys,
the gentle clasping of my ear.

as you retreat into solitude, i surrender to mine.
but there will always be our confessions.

2008-06-23T14:47:00.002+08:00

i read this on the sunday times, her speech at a harvard commencement ceremony. i have to admit i am surprised at how rousing and deeply personal it is. i've always had the image of this writer as an embittered woman who was biting back after a bitter divorce and failed marriage. reading this, i'm no longer so sure abt my view.

_______________________________________

Text as prepared follows.
Copyright of JK Rowling, June 2008

President Faust, members of the Harvard Corporation and the Board of Overseers, members of the faculty, proud parents, and, above all, graduates.

The first thing I would like to say is ‘thank you.’ Not only has Harvard given me an extraordinary honour, but the weeks of fear and nausea I’ve experienced at the thought of giving this commencement address have made me lose weight. A win-win situation! Now all I have to do is take deep breaths, squint at the red banners and fool myself into believing I am at the world’s best-educated Harry Potter convention.

Delivering a commencement address is a great responsibility; or so I thought until I cast my mind back to my own graduation. The commencement speaker that day was the distinguished British philosopher Baroness Mary Warnock. Reflecting on her speech has helped me enormously in writing this one, because it turns out that I can’t remember a single word she said. This liberating discovery enables me to proceed without any fear that I might inadvertently influence you to abandon promising careers in business, law or politics for the giddy delights of becoming a gay wizard.

You see? If all you remember in years to come is the ‘gay wizard’ joke, I’ve still come out ahead of Baroness Mary Warnock. Achievable goals: the first step towards personal improvement.
Actually, I have wracked my mind and heart for what I ought to say to you today. I have asked myself what I wish I had known at my own graduation, and what important lessons I have learned in the 21 years that has expired between that day and this.

I have come up with two answers. On this wonderful day when we are gathered together to celebrate your academic success, I have decided to talk to you about the benefits of failure. And as you stand on the threshold of what is sometimes called ‘real life’, I want to extol the crucial importance of imagination.

These might seem quixotic or paradoxical choices, but please bear with me.
Looking back at the 21-year-old that I was at graduation, is a slightly uncomfortable experience for the 42-year-old that she has become. Half my lifetime ago, I was striking an uneasy balance between the ambition I had for myself, and what those closest to me expected of me.
I was convinced that the only thing I wanted to do, ever, was to write novels. However, my parents, both of whom came from impoverished backgrounds and neither of whom had been to college, took the view that my overactive imagination was an amusing personal quirk that could never pay a mortgage, or secure a pension.

They had hoped that I would take a vocational degree; I wanted to study English Literature. A compromise was reached that in retrospect satisfied nobody, and I went up to study Modern Languages. Hardly had my parents’ car rounded the corner at the end of the road than I ditched German and scuttled off down the Classics corridor.

I cannot remember telling my parents that I was studying Classics; they might well have found out for the first time on graduation day. Of all subjects on this planet, I think they would have been hard put to name one less useful than Greek mythology when it came to securing the keys to an executive bathroom.

I would like to make it clear, in parenthesis, that I do not blame my parents for their point of view. There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you. What is more, I cannot criticise my parents for hoping that I would never experience poverty. They had been poor themselves, and I have since been poor, and I quite agree with them that it is not an ennobling experience. Poverty entails fear, and stress, and sometimes depression; it means a thousand petty humiliations and hardships. Climbing out of poverty by your own efforts, that is indeed something on which to pride yourself, but poverty itself is romanticised only by fools.

What I feared most for myself at your age was not poverty, but failure.

At your age, in spite of a distinct lack of motivation at university, where I had spent far too long in the coffee bar writing stories, and far too little time at lectures, I had a knack for passing examinations, and that, for years, had been the measure of success in my life and that of my peers.

I am not dull enough to suppose that because you are young, gifted and well-educated, you have never known hardship or heartbreak. Talent and intelligence never yet inoculated anyone against the caprice of the Fates, and I do not for a moment suppose that everyone here has enjoyed an existence of unruffled privilege and contentment.

However, the fact that you are graduating from Harvard suggests that you are not very well-acquainted with failure. You might be driven by a fear of failure quite as much as a desire for success. Indeed, your conception of failure might not be too far from the average person’s idea of success, so high have you already flown academically.

Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.

Now, I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no idea that there was going to be what the press has since represented as a kind of fairy tale resolution. I had no idea how far the tunnel extended, and for a long time, any light at the end of it was a hope rather than a reality.

So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had already been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.

You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default.

Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above rubies.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more to me than any qualification I ever earned.

Given a time machine or a Time Turner, I would tell my 21-year-old self that personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a check-list of acquisition or achievement. Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life, though you will meet many people of my age and older who confuse the two. Life is difficult, and complicated, and beyond anyone’s total control, and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes.

You might think that I chose my second theme, the importance of imagination, because of the part it played in rebuilding my life, but that is not wholly so. Though I will defend the value of bedtime stories to my last gasp, I have learned to value imagination in a much broader sense. Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not, and therefore the fount of all invention and innovation. In its arguably most transformative and revelatory capacity, it is the power that enables us to empathise with humans whose experiences we have never shared.

One of the greatest formative experiences of my life preceded Harry Potter, though it informed much of what I subsequently wrote in those books. This revelation came in the form of one of my earliest day jobs. Though I was sloping off to write stories during my lunch hours, I paid the rent in my early 20s by working in the research department at Amnesty International’s headquarters in London.

There in my little office I read hastily scribbled letters smuggled out of totalitarian regimes by men and women who were risking imprisonment to inform the outside world of what was happening to them. I saw photographs of those who had disappeared without trace, sent to Amnesty by their desperate families and friends. I read the testimony of torture victims and saw pictures of their injuries. I opened handwritten, eye-witness accounts of summary trials and executions, of kidnappings and rapes.

Many of my co-workers were ex-political prisoners, people who had been displaced from their homes, or fled into exile, because they had the temerity to think independently of their government. Visitors to our office included those who had come to give information, or to try and find out what had happened to those they had been forced to leave behind.

I shall never forget the African torture victim, a young man no older than I was at the time, who had become mentally ill after all he had endured in his homeland. He trembled uncontrollably as he spoke into a video camera about the brutality inflicted upon him. He was a foot taller than I was, and seemed as fragile as a child. I was given the job of escorting him to the Underground Station afterwards, and this man whose life had been shattered by cruelty took my hand with exquisite courtesy, and wished me future happiness.

And as long as I live I shall remember walking along an empty corridor and suddenly hearing, from behind a closed door, a scream of pain and horror such as I have never heard since. The door opened, and the researcher poked out her head and told me to run and make a hot drink for the young man sitting with her. She had just given him the news that in retaliation for his own outspokenness against his country’s regime, his mother had been seized and executed.
Every day of my working week in my early 20s I was reminded how incredibly fortunate I was, to live in a country with a democratically elected government, where legal representation and a public trial were the rights of everyone.

Every day, I saw more evidence about the evils humankind will inflict on their fellow humans, to gain or maintain power. I began to have nightmares, literal nightmares, about some of the things I saw, heard and read.

And yet I also learned more about human goodness at Amnesty International than I had ever known before.

Amnesty mobilises thousands of people who have never been tortured or imprisoned for their beliefs to act on behalf of those who have. The power of human empathy, leading to collective action, saves lives, and frees prisoners. Ordinary people, whose personal well-being and security are assured, join together in huge numbers to save people they do not know, and will never meet. My small participation in that process was one of the most humbling and inspiring experiences of my life.

Unlike any other creature on this planet, humans can learn and understand, without having experienced. They can think themselves into other people’s minds, imagine themselves into other people’s places.

Of course, this is a power, like my brand of fictional magic, that is morally neutral. One might use such an ability to manipulate, or control, just as much as to understand or sympathise. And many prefer not to exercise their imaginations at all. They choose to remain comfortably within the bounds of their own experience, never troubling to wonder how it would feel to have been born other than they are. They can refuse to hear screams or to peer inside cages; they can close their minds and hearts to any suffering that does not touch them personally; they can refuse to know.
I might be tempted to envy people who can live that way, except that I do not think they have any fewer nightmares than I do. Choosing to live in narrow spaces can lead to a form of mental agoraphobia, and that brings its own terrors. I think the wilfully unimaginative see more monsters. They are often more afraid.

What is more, those who choose not to empathise may enable real monsters. For without ever committing an act of outright evil ourselves, we collude with it, through our own apathy.
One of the many things I learned at the end of that Classics corridor down which I ventured at the age of 18, in search of something I could not then define, was this, written by the Greek author Plutarch: What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.

That is an astonishing statement and yet proven a thousand times every day of our lives. It expresses, in part, our inescapable connection with the outside world, the fact that we touch other people’s lives simply by existing.

But how much more are you, Harvard graduates of 2008, likely to touch other people’s lives? Your intelligence, your capacity for hard work, the education you have earned and received, give you unique status, and unique responsibilities. Even your nationality sets you apart. The great majority of you belong to the world’s only remaining superpower. The way you vote, the way you live, the way you protest, the pressure you bring to bear on your government, has an impact way beyond your borders. That is your privilege, and your burden.

If you choose to use your status and influence to raise your voice on behalf of those who have no voice; if you choose to identify not only with the powerful, but with the powerless; if you retain the ability to imagine yourself into the lives of those who do not have your advantages, then it will not only be your proud families who celebrate your existence, but thousands and millions of people whose reality you have helped transform for the better. We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.
I am nearly finished. I have one last hope for you, which is something that I already had at 21. The friends with whom I sat on graduation day have been my friends for life. They are my children’s godparents, the people to whom I’ve been able to turn in times of trouble, friends who have been kind enough not to sue me when I’ve used their names for Death Eaters. At our graduation we were bound by enormous affection, by our shared experience of a time that could never come again, and, of course, by the knowledge that we held certain photographic evidence that would be exceptionally valuable if any of us ran for Prime Minister.

So today, I can wish you nothing better than similar friendships. And tomorrow, I hope that even if you remember not a single word of mine, you remember those of Seneca, another of those old Romans I met when I fled down the Classics corridor, in retreat from career ladders, in search of ancient wisdom: As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.

I wish you all very good lives. Thank you very much.

2008-06-06T17:29:00.002+08:00

the sex and the city movie left me feeling melancholic and blue.

it was a gd movie, and a great end to the whole 6 seasons with these girls. but more than the feel-good ending, i think the poignant moments resonated with me deeply (warning: spoilers ahead) - when SJP refused to eat and slept for 3 whole days after being jilted *again*, and when cynthia nixon's character watched new year's eve telly stuff till it made her depressed. the pain and anguish they felt - i understood well.

love is giving somebody the ability to hurt you, but trusting them not to.

of all places, i got this quote from a crappy tv show called love you to death. but the quote struck a deep chord in me (coz it is true). i rather suspect i'm only beginning to understand what this means.

but even then, i'm afraid to fully trust.

2008-06-02T18:56:00.003+08:00

finally - a photo of the painting i bought recently. small piece, sits nicely on my desk at work.

had no intention to buy art, happened to waltzed into a small gallery with my bargain-hunting supervisor, and he bargained it down by half.

the impressionist look is fantastic, the dash of orange is eye-catching, and the choice of perspective is interesting. its of a landscape in su zhou (unusual for impressionists, who tend to do flower bouquets and european landscapes), by a chinese painter called bai ling.

its a great little piece and for $300, its a steal. plus i never quite get tired of looking at it. =)

2008-05-22T14:18:00.002+08:00

i'm so glad David Cook won!!!

thought Achuleta bagged it after last night's performance. the boy does have a beautiful voice.

but this guy is way polished as a performer. so much stage presence - your eyes are riveted from the moment he steps on stage.

i wish i can perform like that!! ok, maybe not the rocker dude thing, but workin' on the presence.... the "presence"......

*hahahaaa*

Edward Norton + My Baby Just Cares For Me

2008-05-04T00:20:00.003+08:00

Ok, you have to admit, Edward Norton singing and tapping to My Baby Just Cares For Me has to be kinda weird....... =P

Then again, it was allegedly a Woody Allen movie. Weird galore.

2008-04-23T15:55:00.002+08:00

i know donating blood is serious business, but seriously, do you have to sound so mean and rude about those who should not donate blood?

reading your website, i just don't even want to consider donating blood anymore! if you want my blood, hey, be nice about it ok.... *tsktsktsk*

and why is it that people who've spent more than three months in the UK between 1980 to 1996 can't donate blood??? i dun get it......

2008-04-15T16:46:00.003+08:00

couldn't stop playing with this ancient marvel i found in some corner of city hall building. guess what this is???

IT IS.... *drumroll* an umbrella lock. super, ultra primitive contraption, used by judges and lawyers in the past to store and lock their umbrellas while they went to court, prob from 1950s - 1980s. Just slip your umbrella (it assumes your umbrella has a handle) into the holder and pull out the token and voila! your umbrella is safe there until you return.

and of course, your truly did not take this picture. a profesisonal photographer did.

2008-04-01T17:14:00.002+08:00

entreinte (embrace), by pablo picasso. watercolours by the man is apparently a rarity.

this is a lousy rendition, i know. but i couldn't find a better picture online. someone kept the original painting in his bedroom in england, and is now auctioning it off for 100,000 pounds.

there's just a certain something-something captured here that is everything - beautiful, intense yet innocent.

and i rarely enjoy a picasso.

wish i had the money.

2008-03-31T17:10:00.002+08:00

I know how some days at work, you're upset with just one person for making your job harder/more, but take it out on everyone else as well? I know, I've been there, and do feel that way from time to time.

But truth is, NO ONE REALY CARES. No one cares if you're having a bad day or if someone else has made your work life just that bit harder than it already is. Least of all your bosses.

So don't carry your weight around like the whole world owes you something, or start yelling at me because you can't finish your work. Because nobody owes you anything or cares. Worse, your bosses now think you're unprofessional.

So you owe it to yourself to just snap out of it.

2008-03-25T12:43:00.002+08:00

We came, we chatted, had tea and dumplings together, saw and chatted some more, and parted ways after more than 2 hours.

I had the pleasure of catching up with one of Singapore's pioneer artists last Thursday. He's really old now, something like 88 this yr. He is entirely self-taught, and doesn't believe in using oils and the typical paintbrushes, prefering to stick to Chinese inks and Chinese brushes for his art. And he paints whole landscapes from MEMORY. *gasp*

I won't say I'm a big fan of his works or that he has a great variety in the first place, but just listening to him speak about his inspiration, about the times when the Singapore Art and Equator Art Societies were flourishing, and when Tampines had only 1 school of 64 students and he was the principal (and the teacher, and the janitor, etc, you get the general drfit), was simply awesome. I feel as if I had been in the presence of greatness.

What NOT to do at your first client meeting

2008-03-25T12:24:00.006+08:00

To my agency friends, I speak from the client's perspective - Never under-estimate first impressions. They determine just about EVERYTHING.

Most agencies who meet me come fully prepared for this first meeting - a short presentation about their firm, who they are, what they do, and almost everyone would read up about your company on the website or fire a series of questions at you even before the first meeting.

Typically, that's what most firms do, typically. I think it is the very least you can do, esp if you want their business.

The agency I met today, was simply APPALLING. They didn't:

bother to do their show and tell about who they are (maybe they assume I should know... RIGHT....)
While they read up a bit about who the client is and what we do, but somehow still didn't seem to understand us at all (they should have clarified on email beforehand really, if they din get it at the beginning)
forgot to bring their brains along with them to the meeting, constantly clarifying the things they had clarified like 2 mins ago
constantly gave me spaced out looks throughout the meeting
did not get most of the points i've expressed be it in the brief or spoken, even after repetitions and re-phrasing of sentences by me and my colleague
were just exasperating to speak to for 45 mins.

And this is all after an exasperating first phone call to the company to find out who'd be the right people to talk to for this project. The phone receptionist spoke with a ching-chong accent, didn't know what MICA is, who it stands for, much less that it is a dept under the government, then proceeds to transfer me twice to the wrong account managers before the final acct manager who took my brief said that she wasn't the right person to speak with but will pass me on to someone else.

It no longer matters how big a brand name you are. YOU SUCK.

2008-03-11T14:58:00.003+08:00

Its been more than 3 days since I've heard Harry Connick Jr live in concert, and I'm still gushing!

The jazz was nice and smooth, his tone was simply divine, and the piano-playing was just jaw-dropping. Of course it helps that he still looks cute even at 40. He ended the evening with the song he's most known for, It Had To Be You, but without the big band, just his voice, a saxaphonist (I think its a bass one) and the double bass. More mellow, yet shows how he has matured with his music as well over the years. That made my day!

And my boy topped off a wonderful evening with drinks at the Bar and Billard Room (another place with plenty of good memories). My evening was complete. *contented smile*

Super looking forward to Jools Holland's Rhythm and Blues Orchestra tomorrow night. I have to say the line-up for this year's Mosaic Music Festival is pretty amazing!!

2008-03-10T17:40:00.003+08:00

I can watch this over and over and OVER again..... *muahahahaaaaa*

Thanks, Frankie!

2008-03-10T17:38:00.000+08:00

You Are An ENFJ

The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.
Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.
Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.
You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.

In love, you are very protective and supporting.
However, you do need to "feel special" - and it's quite easy for you to get jealous.

At work, you are a natural leader. You can help people discover their greatest potential.
You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

How you see yourself: Trusting, idealistic, and expressive

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Bossy, inappropriate, and loud

What's" Your Personality Type?

2008-03-06T17:00:00.002+08:00

This is probably one of those times when I'm more pensive, reflective.

There were some really high points in 2007 - moments of great joy, pride and achievement. But the moments of great anguish and pain (including the moments I'm not proud of), populate my memory more than the good ones, and sometimes still ache in my heart.

I pray I'd never have to re-live some of the unpleasant moments from 2007 ever again. I felt I was tested and reduced to pulp, and even now, am still trying to recover from it.

And if, by some fluk of a chance, I end up in those same situations again, I pray that it'll be a better me that can stand strong in the midst of the storm.

Reasons for not liking CNY

2008-02-06T12:36:00.000+08:00

1) It is noisy.

2) It is crowded.

3) Relatives either live in a time warp of you (ie "Have you finished school yet???" or "Just started work ah?? Where ah??") OR worse, ask the usual incessant questions I hate to answer (ie "Got boyfriend or not???" or "Married already or not??"). And I hate having to make small talk with people I have nothing in common with.

4) Chinese New Year music is noisy and annoying.

5) It is usually hot around this time of year (not this year though)

6) Did I mention that it is REALLY noisy this time of year????

Anyways, I am all set for CNY - my box of Seasons 6 & 7 of Gilmore Girls have *finally* arrived in the mail. I will officially hibernate for the next 4 days. Not even ang pows can entice me to come out (unless they're at least in 3-digits....). =P

Which Grey's Anatomy Character Are You?

2008-01-30T15:23:00.000+08:00

I'm Meredith Grey. Nothing seems the same when you're not around. You're poised and likeable and find it easy to make friends. Although you are always there to support your friends, you may not want to take the same approach yourself. You may like to deal with some stuff yourself, without particularly involving those around you. Your naturally sweet disposition means you have people around you all the time and are generally well liked. Your philosophy: live life and try not to screw up too bad.

The thorn in my flesh

2008-01-28T15:08:00.000+08:00

There this thing, this thing that's been bugging me for a long time now, a grudge I bear and find unable to let go. I know its as simple as that - letting it go. But I can't seem to do just that.

I've tried everything I think - dealt with it (in the best way i could), told it to go away, prayed that it will go away, Landmark-ed it, denying it, and even tried running it off in the gym. But it wun go away, the pain's still there, and the internal dialogue in my head wouldn't stop.

Go away pls, oh thorn in my flesh. Pls pls pls just go away.

2008-01-24T18:02:00.000+08:00

This should be the reason why no parent should never name their kid "Heathcliff", or after any angsty literary character for that matter.

2008-01-16T17:40:00.001+08:00

After viewing many dance videos online, I still vote this as THE dance video of 2007.

Another quirk to add to my earlier post - I'm a chronic magazine flipper, esp. women's magazines. Prob coz they are colourful and have many many pictures..... *hmmmm*

2008-01-15T15:45:00.000+08:00

A bunch of random thoughts at lunch today, while huffing and puffing away at the strider machine in the gym:

1) I like my "upmarket coffee" (aka Starbucks, Spinellis, and the like) in a paper cup with the cover and the sleeve. My influence shows - my Boy can't quite have his coffee any other way either. Am glad that Howard Schultz is taking back the running of Starbucks - the US experience has been rather sucky of late.

2) If I'm obsessed about a particular type of food, I can eat the same thing consecutively for a week or even a whole month. I've ate Putu Maya (the bee hoon pancake thing taken with coconut and brown sugar) consecutively for a few weeks until the stall ceased operations. *not my fault* My all-time favourite food groups are: Vegetarian Fried Bee Hoon and Fried Chicken Wings.

3) I suck at playing most sorts of games - ball games, computer games, etc. Or even scrabulous on FB. *shrug*

4) I'm a reeeeally slow reader. Coz I read on the train to-fro work, and only get through about 5-8 pages in any one sitting (depending on font size).

5) I secretly like (ie sing/hum/bob) bad pop music, in the likes of Britney Spears, S-Club, Spice Girls, West Life, Backstreet Boys, etc. When I'm in my room on my own, I even dance fanatically to Kylie.

6) I have never stepped into Zouk or Hard Rock Cafe in Singapore. Was disallowed from going into them when I really wanted to (at like 16/18) and gradually just lost interest in going as I grew up. The closest I've been to a club is BarNone - filled with posers who smoke way too many cigars. *bleah*

7) I am quietly competitive/ambitious. I always secretly want to get ahead of my peers, or even my seniors at work.

8) I have a very short attention span, especially with art. I can't spend more than 1 hour browsing a gallery alone - I lose patience, worse when its filled with weird, senseless contemporary works. Even worse if they are badly painted or look really UGLY.

9) I have a long history with Starbucks - When I broke up with my first boyfriend, I hung out at 7am every morning at the Starbucks near my old workplace for a couple of months. Writing and crying, or editing my writing (for an annual report) and sipping my morning coffee all at once. And the best part was that the staff there call me by my first name and remember my order. When the outlet was closed a year later, I was understandably upset.

10) I miss the fried carrot cake at Robinson Road. Its that tiny shop next to Polar Cakes now. It was really gd fried cake.

11) I'm a huge klutz - the people who know me know that I'm always walking into poles/signboards, drains, get cuts/bruises or have fluke accidents from seeming harmless situations. =P

12) I still go to Shaslik for my steaks. The waiters aren't fantastic, and in fact are elderly and slow, but they still wear those red vests and white shirts like in the old days. Complete time warp.

13) I am still searching for that perfect cookbook - that is easy to follow and doesn't require exotic ingredients or an oven.

2008-01-08T17:49:00.000+08:00

"They (Husband Yu Beng and daughter Shi-An) are my favourite people, you know?" was my favourite line with ST's Monday Interview with local actress, Tan Kheng Hua.

Puts a smile on my face. =)

2007-12-28T18:52:00.001+08:00

Yippeee!! Will see my Boy in 3 hours. Feels like ages......

2007-12-28T12:20:00.000+08:00

We met, ate, laughed (loudly), gossiped and bitched, just like in the old days - who's straight and who's gay, who's still bitchy/who's not, who's still "playing"/who's sobered up, who's married/who's looking, and of course, who still LOOKS THE SAME. Gosh - has it been more than 10 years since we've last seen each other??

Feels like yesterday we were in those white-blue uniforms with that horrible white belt that cut our pubescent bodies into half, emphasizing the waistless-ness of us at 15. Loud, defiant, restless, crazy young school girls. We hated school, wanted more than what it could offer, wanted out of the ridiculous system. Thankfully, despite all that, WE turned out ok. We'd never send our girls back to that school. EVER.

All grown up now, with actual adult responsibilities in our hands - businesses, careers, money, relationships, etc. Meeting at adult restaurants in hotels, ordering real food and ALCOHOL.... =) Seeing revised/improved versions of each other feels so strange , yet oh-so-familiar.

In the washroom, Lynda defiantly throws her used tissue paper into the less "chosen" bin in front of the girls. We burst into giggles. Sometimes its comforting to know that some things don't change, Jill said. In a lot of ways, we're still those same 15 year olds at heart.

2007-12-28T11:33:00.000+08:00

Pam is looking at the gi-normous picture of Ian Mckellen in King Lear in Business Times' arts review. Pam is incredibly sore she missed that performance.

The Business Times is mocking Pam. *humph*

2007-12-27T16:13:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Jo, Siva, Bee, Alex and Yu Jin, I am now fully equipped for a more organised 2008..... *hee*

2007-12-27T16:05:00.000+08:00

This kid was good - he knew EXACTLY when to smile!

I will officially stop blogging for the day right about.... NOW.

2007-12-27T15:39:00.000+08:00

This is what I end up doing when I'm bored at work - log on, check work email, nothing but keep it open, then check facebook acct, poke everyone who's poked me, log off facebook, check gmail acct, reply all nec. emails (that's impt), log off gmail, check work email again, STILL nothing, look at my table mess, try to sort out the piles of papers to be filed, procrastinate, sort out more papers, procrastinate somemore, check facebook *again* out of boredom, log off facebook, whip out diaries for the new year, put in public holidays into new diary, go back to sorting out more filing, gets incredibly bored, checks out friends' blogs, looks at Yahoo Movies for a bit, procrastinate somemore, briefly chat with my boy on MSN, then more filing, more procrastinating........

The end of the year in the office is one HUGE yawn coz everyone impt is away.....*gasp*

Find of the day - stumbled upon this blog from one of my friend's blogs - love the whimsical way she writes and really love her photos. See?? This is what I get up to when I'm bored.

Meme!

2007-12-26T11:43:00.000+08:00

1) Where did you ring in 2007?
Can't rem. Which probably means I was sleeping/watching TV/sulking at home. =P

2) What was your status by Valentine's Day?
Single.

3) Were you in school (anytime this year)?
Nope.

4) How did you earn your keep?
Doing marketing & communications for a yet-to-be-built national art gallery.

5) Did you have to go to the hospital?
Yes. I think it was for baby births more than anything else. Don't remember anyone dying on me this yr.

6) Did you encounter the police?
Nope.

7) Where did you go on vacation?
California and Perth were the official holidays. But the year was filled with fun work junkets aplenty (aka the unofficial holidays) - Vietnam, London, Paris.

8) What did you purchase that was over $500?
My PT lessons at the gym - I buy enough to last me the year. *sheepish grin*

9) Did you know anybody who got married?
Yes,although significantly less this yr. I've stopped attending weddings, unless they're that of close friends (which technically shouldn't happen anymore since they're mostly married). Coz I just don't have that much money to give away!

10) Do you know anybody who passed away?
Yes. An ex-colleague.

11) Have you run into anybody you graduated high school with?
YES! Only on Facebook - its a genius considering how little I do to keep up with old school friends!

12) Did you move anywhere?
Nope.

13) What sporting events did you go to?
Does watching my boy try to to outrun and shoot down enemy airplanes on his computer count??

14) What concerts did you go to?
Concerts: none. Performances: yes - Burn The Floor. It was ok only lah....

15) Are you registered to vote?
Yes. Proud to say I've voted before.

16) If so, did you do your patriotic duty on Nov. 7?
What's the deal with Nov. 7???

17) Where do you live now?
Tampines St 21. Still. =P

18) Describe your birthday.
Simple, filled with love. =)

19) What's the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2007?
Landmark Forum. It was the right thing for the right time in my life, and I'm glad.

20) What is one thing you regretted this year?
Acting on my anger and jealousy. Not my proudest or smartest moment.

21) What's something you learned about yourself?
That I am capable of extreme hate. Oh, and I suck at trivia! =P

22) Any new additions to your family?
Extended family - yes. But I barely know them, let alone their new additions.

23) What was your best month?
I'd say its a toss up betw April and Nov/Dec.

April 'coz it was the first time in a long while I was at peace with myself and the situation around me. Plus there was that super fun work trip to Vietnam to top things off!! =)

Nov/Dec coz its my birthday month (*haha* yes, celebrations are MONTH-long), the holiday season and there's so much to do and so many people to be with! Plus, I was just generally in a happier and more content mood....

24) What from pop culture will you remember 2007 by?
Probably Anna Nicole Smith and Pavarotti's deaths. Although French President Nicolas Sarkozy's divorce/love life does come in a close 3rd after all that...... *hahaha*

25) How would you rate this year with a scale from 1 (shitty) to 10 (excellent)?
7 probably, coz it was quite a tumultuous rollercoaster ride at many junctures. Learnt heaps about myself through it. Otherwise, loved it for the travelling, the new people (esp. the Vietnamese!) and animals (Daisy!) I've met, and the many interesting encounters and experiences as a result.

2007-12-10T22:23:00.000+08:00

Maybe I'm naive or haven't read enough. And I'm sure Hillary makes more sense and has more experience in the Senate.

But I haven't heard many politicians speak like this in a while. A long while. I thought they only existed in make-believe worlds like The West Wing.

I think Obama might actually be able to win this.

2007-12-10T12:45:00.000+08:00

I've been wondering - am I out of my league here, or is it just arrogance on my part?

Monitoring the news is part and parcel of PR work - I know that. Its a hopelessly mundane and menial task, but necessary. I remembered doing that and having to write news summaries before 9.30am everyday, and it was a nightmare. Even with a team of us reading a section each of the daily news, it was still quite a bit to get through. But the consolation was that we did it as a team - all 14 of us struggling together, directors, managers, admin staff et all. (well, it wasn't by choice that everyone does it together - we enforced it) And that made it less painful, I reckon, coz we know we're in it together.

Recently, a supervisor asked a colleague and I to do the same, except that now, we dun have to write summaries (thank God!), just have to scan and flag out important reports. I noted that she only asked the both of us, and didn't include herself in the news monitoring team. I suppose she is supervisor, and probably feel she doesn't need to take up such menial tasks.

I found myself feeling irritated and annoyed. I know to some extent, I don't have the right to be, because she is, afterall, my boss, and has a righ to delegate. I wonder - I'm irritared because I feel its too menial for me to do it?? Or that she chose not to include herself as part of the team to do it (since she is managing the PR team)?? Made me wonder too, how long I'm supposed to stay as a minion before I get the right to delegate as well!! =P I can't keep being the minion all my life - set up for meetings/official visits, carry the projector/laptop/water, draft the notes, make sure carpark lots are reserved for VIPs, boss' slides are in the laptop, etc etc etc etc.

I also found myself missing my old team - we worked hard and played hard together because we saw ourselves as one team (and made sure we ousted anyone who wasn't a team player.... *muahahaaaa*).

I guess in some ways, we were "spoiled" where I worked previously. We had very little sense of hierarchy or ranks - we were one organisation and one team. If someone's in shit, we're all in it together. Even CEO's not spared - he willingly participated in all the tacky activities we got into unless he was busy. Everyone's opinion counted, whether you're a director or a support staff. If you have something to say, we'd all like to hear it. No one was too small, or too big - equal. We all had different parts to play, but because we were empowered to play our roles and at different times we each took on lead/support roles, we took on each task quite happily (at least in my old team).

I've been told here, in this new environment, that I'm to "know my place in life" and to "give due respect" coz I'm constantly being judged and watched and evaluated. And apparently, I don't do enough of it. Occasional and casual joking with the bosses is a no-no, and I speak only when spoken to. (and I think oftentimes, my opinion doesn't really matter, unless it has to do with stroking someone's ego or for an opinion which the boss can echo as his own at some bigshot meeting later.....) I feel like I'm back in sec school again and its quite frustrating. =P

I do like the content in my present job, and I still find it interesting. But esp. in moments like these, I wonder if this place will give me that big break I'm hungry for, something that will progress me upwards.

So yeah, today, I'm WONDERING. *sigh*

2007-12-05T19:01:00.000+08:00

My best shot ever on a camera phone! I can't rem how many thouand feet above the ground liao. Eh, its from a propeller plane somemore leh, no jets here.... *wink*

I'm surprised at how gd the resolution is...... *goodness*

2007-12-04T16:54:00.000+08:00

How can 2 people be so damn cool????

Frida is just soooo good..... I can watch Skye and Frida videos all day...... *drool*

2007-12-01T22:09:00.000+08:00

Its been exactly a year since, but this photo's still worth reprising!! *hahahaaa*

Run faster this year, Alex...... ;-)

2007-11-26T17:40:00.000+08:00

Erhm ok, am terribly incompetent with technology. Can someone pls teach me how to blog a video from You Tube? I keep getting an error message everytime I try it.... *huh*

How is it that guys who randomly bump back into old female friends again after years of having not seen them, flirt and hit on them in the same breath?? Please enlighten me - WHY??? I barely even recognise the chap since we were these bunch of geeks in secondary school math tuition class, and the fella's first words to me are - "Are you MARRIED?? Oh, still single? Hey, you look great now!" And before I knew it, he quicky follows with - "Hey, I will call you out for a drink sometime soon, ok???". All of 30 seconds - that's how long it took him (the rest of the conversation were just variations of this theme). I was trying my hardest to mask how unimpressed I was, just to save the chap some face in front of a busy MRT station.

Could we not just enjoy that one moment, without an agenda, of just catching up as old friends?? And perhaps just reminisence of the good old days, at least for say longer than 30 seconds?? How have you been? Who else have you caught up with recently? Or even GOSSIP about some of the weird people we've known in seondary school!!! Cripes.....

Get a life you guys..... seriously.

2007-11-25T18:04:00.001+08:00

Every once in a long while, you watch a movie/film that actually sets you thinking. And I stress, long while.

I just finished watching Lions For Lambs. Not the best movie ever made (compared to Lee Ang's beautifully made Lust, Caution), nothing too complicated either be it in terms of set/costume design, plot progression or cinematography. But through its simplicity and the juxtapositioning of 3 separate plots (well, at times in a rather "in your face" sort of way, being American as the movie is), it makes you sit up, pay attention, and listen. Suddenly, that dormant part of the brain flicks its switch back on - to thinking mode.

Lions For Lambs is essentially a commentary on America's war on terror - taking stock on where America's gone with this, and echoing the current sentiments of some Americans about the war. The movie interlaces 3 conversations - one of a senior reporter with a Republican senator, the 2nd of 2 US soldiers dropped off somewhere in the mountains of Afganistan to fight the Talibans, and the last of a political science professor and his student who's been cutting classes.

I suppose like the Vietnam war, the age-old issue of when to stop, remains. And its a tough issue, with equally compelling cases on both ends of the spectrum - on one hand, you do whatever it takes to fight the enemy and protect freedom and liberty for your people and the people you seek to protect, yet on the other hand, you do consider the plight of each soldier and want to keep each and every person safe and bring them home as much as possible (as opposed to treating them like pawns in a game of war).

The sub-message of the movie, I felt, is the question posed to us - how much do we choose to engage in our daily lives? Do we choose to remain apathetic, moderate, without opinions of our own but live comfortably, or do we choose to be authentic, engage actively, and be willing to stake our actions on our word? There was a scene in the movie of 2 high school students who were asked to research and present a paper on engagement. They spoke passionately about engaging proactively in the war on terror, and that every citizen has a role to play, hoping to engage their class in conversation about the topic. The entire class laughed at their ideals, brushing it aside as propaganda. But these 2 boys stood for what they believed - they showed letters of enlistment to the US Army, much to the shock of everyone in the class. That one struck a deep chord within me.

Its so easy to live that moderate and apathetic life, to be comfortable, to just get by with our daily lives, but not actually LIVING, thinking, engaging, being authentic. Not that being comfortable is bad, just not enough, I suppose. I encounter too many, who when asked for an opinion on certain topics, merely echo the opinion of the majority view/government/church. Without having thought it through for themselves, without having differentiated the voices of others, and really paid attention to their own voice, their own beliefs. Quite frankly, I find myself doing that a lot too, just going about the motions of daily living, never really engaging until required to - its bloody disturbing! And when that rare occasion where a view that is different or shocking is surfaced, I find, oftentimes, most Singaporeans would be eager to push arguments (and not their own I might add) to drag me back to middle ground, where the majority stand. What compelling reasons?? Surely there is safety in numbers, right???

Why bother engaging and learning more about the other side of the matter? Its too much hard work figuring that out and we're too busy getting on with our lives and staying comfortable. Oh let's not rock the boat, lest we tip over and have to face whatever uncertainty's on the other side. At least on this side, we look good, we look strong. Oh, and we have no time.

I've been there before and constantly run back there for alleged safety. But it makes us such frauds, all of us. Mere phonies. No better than robots.

My extended family's not divided on the matter of war, but on the matter of religion. Half of the family's Protestant, the other half Roman Catholic. The Protestant part of the family are only too eager to denounce Catholicism to the ground, just short of (entirely my opinion) calling them evil or the devil's workshop. Its a mere perception (and some Protestant churches even drum it into the brains of their congregation that Catholics aren't Christians), rather than a deep examination of the tenents of the Catholic faith. I roll my eyes everytime the rantings start - neither sides have bothered to fully read up and understand the other's faiths before splitting hairs and pronouncing judgement on one another. Doesn't this sound like where Ku Klux Klans or Islamic fundamentalists start? And you know what? I attend a Protestant church, but some of the most profound and balanced Christian writings I've ever read, came from the Catholic church. On the contrary, I've found a lot of phony Christian literature in Protestant type writing - all hype, very little real substance. Interesting isn't it? And don't even get me started on the Penal Code debate.

A parable in the Bible teaches us to look at the log in our eye first, before we start telling our brother about the speck in his. Such is the inauthenticity of our lives.

2007-10-09T15:43:00.000+08:00

This is a month's worth of supremely hard work, balancing various egos and just plain getting it done - http://www.nationalartgallery.sg/edm/

Everyone pls come to this exhibition kay?? And bring everyone along - mother, father, uncle, auntie. =)

2007-09-20T11:07:00.000+08:00

Took this picture at a restaurant near Musee Guimet in Paris, while lunching with the museum director and his wife. =P (he took a toilet break when I took the photo ok..... must qualify first....)

There's just something about this picture, I can't quite pinpoint what it is - probably a combinaton of textures/elements, composition of the frame etc. Almost like a private moment in the midst of a business lunch. =)

2007-09-18T18:33:00.000+08:00

Damien Hirst's latest creation - the diamond-studded skull. Combine a lot of whole diamonds with just about the world's most sought-after living contemporary artists (forget weird, they're all weird/bizarre/whatever), and you get THIS - Voila! Its US$100 million btw, sends you bleeding to the bank. Talk about scary/hauntingly beautiful........ *shiver*

Although, the piece is so shocking in so many ways, that it does make you gasp, catch your breathe for a moment, and then take a second look and continue to wonder - what's its point really?

Also brings up the question of what else contemporary art can come up with - on one hand, its terrific that the possibilities are endless with contemporary art, and just about anything can be considered art. Its extremely experiential and most of its pretty in-your-face. You dun need a whole lot of context to understand it, you just react to what's there, and that's really quite easy for the everyman to understand. Yet, when it gets just a tad too bizarre like this (trust me, I've seen some REALLY bizarre contemporary works), you wonder - is this considered art? so what's the point? I suppose that's the age-old modern vs contemporary art discussions (then throw in the chronology issues, and some post-colonial angst), which I'd rather not get into now. But it does make you wonder, and sometimes wonder if its really worth all that much.

Oh, btw Jeanette, I "dedicate" this one to you, man. *haha* diamonds, you know..... *chuckle*

Btw, up until the last year, I did not know who Damien Hirst was, much less that he's worth a whole lot of money, and isn't dead yet. *HA*

2007-07-27T10:19:00.000+08:00

I just got hit on by another girl, through Friendster.

Does that mean that my market value's gone up??

2007-07-17T09:56:00.000+08:00

Work email's been down since yesterday, and still is today. We've also lost all our earlier emails which we haven't saved.

Methinks we should shut down all government services, and just call it an early day...... *haha*

2007-07-10T14:05:00.000+08:00

And the bakeries too! I just wanted to eat EVERY cake and cookie in the shop......

2007-07-10T13:59:00.000+08:00

Why do Parisien wet markets look so much better than ours????? *sigh*

2007-07-09T11:00:00.000+08:00

Breakfast in a small cafe behind my hotel in London. I just wanted to show off the picture. *haha*

'Nuff said. =P

2007-07-09T10:54:00.000+08:00

One of my fav museums in Paris - Musee D'Orsay. And not for the art mind you (although they did have a number of greats...), but more for the beautiful conservation that was done on the former train station. Absolutely lovely. With a combination of the 2 - good works and a fantastic space - its no wonder its one of the most popular museums among both the French and visitors alike.

*ahem* that suspicious blue packet sitting next to me are my supervisor's Haribo gummy bears, I swear......

2007-07-09T10:35:00.000+08:00

An opportunity of a lifetime - dining at the famous (and infamously difficult to get seats at) Jamie Oliver's Fifteen restaurant. Singlehandedly orchestrated by yours truly, I made sure to call London up to make reservations a week and half prior to the dinner date, and made a reservation at the Trattoria (ie the only section I could afford).

I have to admit it was more the hype than anything else. I walked in with purple Tate Modern plastic bag - not the most glam of ways to enter a restaurant I've been gaga-ing about for the last few years.

It was a nice place, comfortably decked out as with most restaurants in London (I've been spoilt by the people who've bought most of my business lunches/dinners I've had there). The food was just good, better than the usual fair. But I have to admit I was expecting more than spetacular. And for 20 pounds a person, bearing in mind the 3 to 1 exchange rate, it was a tad pricey. I'd rather eat at Valentinos in Bukit Timah anytime.

But anyhows, here's a pic of the interior of the Trattoria to satisfy the curiosity of anyone who's thinking of going there. =)

2007-07-09T10:25:00.000+08:00

This, is proof that sex sells. *chuckle*

These yummy looking boys jumped out of a chiller truck along the busy streets next to the Tulleries (in Paris) with trays of yummy yogurt (topped with bits of frozen strawberries!) for sale. Hoards, and I mean HOARDS, of women crowded round to pick one up (yougurt lah). What could be a better combination than yougurt and yummy men in tight white shirts and pants?? *chuckle*

I've always held this theory - Crazy Horse in Spore din work out coz local men are stingy and get more camp stuff (with action) for less money. But if you replaced that with a male strip club, I'm sure it'll be a hit here. I know a lot of curious local women who'd probably pay just to see a yummy boy.

Kickass Zero

2007-07-04T10:58:00.000+08:00

That's me in the cockpit of a Japan Zero fighter, one of the few Japanese planes left flying in the world (I think). I've always thought its an extremely "kiam-pa" airplane (aka kickass), hence the facial expression..... =P

In case you don't know what a Japanese Zero is - its Japan's key fighter aircraft in World War 2. Lots of Jap pilots did their banzai thing with the plane in the war, and this plane can turn tighter than most Allied airplanes. I don't fully understand my fascination with enemy aircraft, but somehow, its always kinda cool to see the other side of things, esp of the war. ;-)

Friendster hamster

2007-06-13T17:43:00.000+08:00

Am mighty late in getting into all this - I mean, WHERE THE BLOODY HELL HAVE I BEEN??? tried it out once, but that was an experiment for work-related stuff. Only in the last 2 weeks or so, did I actually bother to get my name and profile and name in. Thanks to Beebz, who's actually "re-started" all this with Facebook.com. Although I have to admit the novelty's really keeping it kinda fun......=P

I wonder - are most single people Friendster really out to look for OTHER single people/partner? Coz I put a pretty decent picture of myself, and I notice I get checked out by unknown single men pretty often. Its an average of 1-2 men I don't know a day. Seriously, are Singaporean guys that desperate to get hitched??? Or just don't know how to chat up women in a normal social setting (I don't consider Friendster or any Net means normal hor...)??

Am toying with the idea of an interesting experiment - stick up a slutty pic with lots of cleavage and then measure the no. of hits from there......Hmmmm.... maybe.... just maybe..... It'll be fun to see the results to that though!! *hee*

Adolescence

2007-05-11T20:16:00.000+08:00

A good friend of mine pointed out this out to me the other day (while I was complaning about work) - "You have this me vs the world thing about you - not very healthy leh...."

Yes, I am still a child in a lot of ways, with temper tantrums et all. Always think the whole world has something against me when things go wrong. Never quite my own fault first. =P

Made me wonder what defines adult and adulthood - just in terms of no. of years spent in this world? Baah.... such an inaccurate measure. I know of tons of people, including myself, who are still children and behave like one.

Perhaps we are all just "aged children" for the lack of a better oxymoron.

Then again, when do we REALLY become adults?? Or does the term "ADULTS" exist only as an illusion, never reality??

Interestingly, Frederick Buechner's Whistling In The Dark talked about adolscence today. He had an interesting take on it:

"The ancient Druids are said to have taken a special interest in in-between things like mistletoe, which is neither quite a plant nor quite a tree, and mist, which is neither quite rain nor quite air, and dreams which are neither quite walking nor quite sleep. They believed that in such things as those they were able to glimpse the mystery of two worlds at once.

Adolscents can have the same glimpse by looking in the full-length mirror on back of the bathroom door. The opaque glance and the pimples. The fancy new nakedness they're all dressed up in with no place to go. The eyes full of secrets they have a strong hunch everybody is on to. The shadowed brow. Being not quite a child and not quite a grown-up either is hard work, and they look it. Living in two world at once is no picnic.

One of the worlds, of course, is innocence, self-forgetfulness, openness, playing fo fun. The other is experience, self-consciousness, guardedness, playing for keeps. Some of us go on straddling them both for years.

The rich young ruler of the Gospels comes to mind (Matt 19:16-22). It is with all the recklessness of a child that he asks Jesus what he must do to be perfect. And when Jesus tells him to give everything to the poor, it is with all the prudence of a senior vice-president of Morgan Guaranty that he walks sadly away.

We become fully and undividedly human, I suppose, when we discover that the ultimate prudence is a kind of holy recklessness, and our passion for having finds peace in our passion for giving, and playing for keeps is itself the greatest fun. Once this has happened and our adolescence is behind us at last, the delight of the child and the sagacity of the Supreme Court Justice are largely indistinguishable."

Its been a loong time......

2007-04-26T23:42:00.000+08:00

Sorry lah sorry - its been a crazy (and hectic!) couple of weeks! =)

Been away to Vietnam for work - it was a BLAST. Ate well (food's amazing!), slept real well (I felt like I was spending a weekend at Raffles Hotel at some stage!), and got to know a whole bunch of interesting people (mostly new faces to me). Vietnam's a charming place - pity its fast disappearing with globalisation.

Will leave this photo I took of the resort we stayed in in Danang to explain it all (no, I did not rip this off their website - took it myself!!). This is just part 1 - tell u more next time. *wink*

It sure is droolworthy isn't it?? I wanna go back!!

2007-03-08T11:31:00.000+08:00

I'm a feminist at heart, I think.

Not a bra-burning, lesbo type of feminist, but just one who feels the burn of indignation when women, esp Asian women, fail to see that they're worth so much more than society makes them out to be. Which probably explains why I like Asian American literature so much.

I think when your boyfriend/husband tells you to get a boob job, that's just wrong. You should tell him to f*** off. And when he asks you to participate in a threesome with him and his friends, crashing the vase next to you over his head is a terrific option.

No woman, should ever put up with such shit. I can understand that love can sometimes make us incredibly blind. But surely deep within, we know we deserve so much more than that.

I read about these 2 women who persuaded their daughters to have sex with their husband in today's Straits Times. It broke my heart. No man, not even your husband, has authority over your life in that way. Obedience in this case, is a crappy excuse. Yes, he is the head of the home, but a fundamental sense of right and wrong, should have kicked in prompting you, as a mother and a wife, that its not right.

But beyond abuse even, in the recent series of articles about women earning less than men in Singapore (in line with International Women's Day), because feeling that raising the children's their responsibility more than their husband's. I get that we're more into nurturing that men are, but hey, parenting's a shared responsibility - why do women have to be the ones making sacrifices and doing the juggling all the time?? And why can't we share out the responsibilities, so both partners have equally successful careers? Why can't our husbands stay at home with the kids, when the wives do need to work/have more successful careers?

Maybe I lack experience and insight - I've not been a wife or mother myself. Or maybe I've just viewed the world from an overtly western perspective most of the time.

I talked to a young lady on Monday night, fresh out of law school, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in the working world. I asked her what her plans were career-wise and whether she had a goal to make partner by a particular age. Her reply to me was kinda pathetic (to me) - while she'd like to make partner, she thinks she probably won't coz at some point, as women, she said she'd probably want to start a family and put energy into that. So its pretty impossible to make it to the top of her game.

I cringed. If we all start off in our minds that we can't at least aim to have it all (whatever that all may be, ie career, family etc), then it would never materialise coz its not even a possibility in our minds. I noe we need to be realistic, but at the same time, I think we could too, be also a little more ambitious. For our own sake. And I think men respect us more when we actually demonstrate that we are equals on a level playing field.

I think women should stand up more for who they are, and what they're worth. We've underestimated ourselves for far too long. And I'd like to think that while men and women are different in nature, we were created to be equals in God's eyes.

2007-03-06T15:12:00.000+08:00

Even 8 Days seems bent on mocking me - this week's issue is a feature on SIA girls.

While I don't think most SQ girls are stupid and bimbotic, I do know of at least one who is - The sum total of her existence to men, is the location of her pussy. Self-fulfilling prophecy really.

Thankfully I was raised well, with a good dose of self-respect.

2007-03-06T09:24:00.000+08:00

I'm still incredibly incredibly angry. Bloody pissed off.

And when I'm like that, am not a pretty sight. Have a hundred mean things I'd like to hurl at specific people right now. I'd like to hurt them, and make them pay for their deeds.

But the love of Christ constraints me, holds me back from saying things I'd regret, reminds me that I'm not necessarily better than them.

Because of that, I'll reserve my comments. And for that, I'm thankful.

Epiphany

2007-03-05T11:56:00.000+08:00

Moment of epiphany:-

People do stupid things. As long as there are people, they'd always end up doing stupid things, but they don't necessarily need to be stupid to do stupid things. Even smart people do stupid things.

The people who are truly stupid are those who do stupid things, refuse to recognise that the thing they are doing is extremely stupid, keep doing it, and never realise/understand why they should stop doing the stupid thing (for their own good).

Ah well. We're all humans - we have our moments.

For some reason I have a lot to say. Its probably got to do with spending a weekend in angry reflection. =P

The Answer

2007-03-05T10:56:00.000+08:00

Been meaning to post these lyrics for the longest time, but never got round to it. Now seemed like the right time. =)

The song's called "The Answer" from Corinne May's Xmas album, The Gift. Can't entirely put my finger to it, but listening to this song (probably has to do with the tune too) always raises my goosebumps just that little bit.

The Answer
- Corinne May
I believe you are the answer to every tear I've cried
I believe that you are with me
My rising and my light

Give me strength when I am weary
Give me hope when I can't see
Through the crosses I must carry
Lord, bind my heart to Thee

That when all my days are over
And all my chores are done
I may see Your risen glory
Forever where You are.