dusting out the cobwebs

met a new colleague today, who turned out to be a blast from my 16-17 yr old past. a past i'd rather not remember really. it felt like being forced to drag out the cobwebs from that part of the attic you've been ignoring for ages, and bring confronted with dusting it out for good.

actually, i don't remember him at all. (quite frankly, i don't expect anyone from my past to recognise me) he approached me first, asked if i was from this particular jc in this particular year. i said yes, and we quickly struck up a conversation.

but no thanks to my lack of thought and big big mouth, i think some affinity got destroyed. no, i didn't reduce the man's sense of dress or style (which i thot was fine btw). my downfall came when he asked if i hung out with a particular group of girls then. i said well not really, because the group politics got quite unpleasant, and i indicated i didn't like them one bit. too complicated, i said. it brought to mind a past of painful rejection, a past which i'd rather forget.

i now regret my hasty statement - i think i spoke too quickly. i didn't consider that maybe the man might be a friend (or i'm guessing at least aquaintance) of theirs. worse, maybe one of their boyfriends/husbands. *GULP*

oh well, what's done's is done yah??? me and my big and careless mouth. again.

peer pressure made up the absolute worst parts of my otherwise enjoyable jc life. actually, make that most of my primary and secondary school life. the notion that i was never good enough to be part of groups whose company i thot i'd enjoy, crept up insiduously and ate me up bit by bit.

this group of jc girls, especially, brought my feelings of being left out to a new peak. i used to watch a girl friend of mine pander excessively to them, coz she wanted their acceptance so badly. even then, she wasn't exactly included, if you ask me. i remembered resenting her for it. she's smart, talented, articulate in her own right. why stoop so low, i thought to myself, for so little returns.

but all that's in the past now, water under the bridge. its been more than 10 yrs since, and i've finally come to love and accept me for who i am, and just be secure in that. its a relief, yet i wished it didn't take me half as long to get here. but like it or not, that's my journey, and its made me who i am today. actually, not bad, i'd say. not bad at all. =)

salt - lizz wright

took time this weekend to check out some of malcolm's music recommendations. the man practically lives in gramaphone. *heh* anyhows, found this awesome singer, lizz wright, with a fantastic sound - jazzy but chill, with a whole lot of soul.

salt's her debut album, also one of the songs in it. if you ask me, i think its the best song in the album. very inspirational lyrics set to a soulful r&b tune.

how can you lose your song?

when you have sung it for so long?

how can you forget your dance, your dance

when that dance is all you ever had?

it must be, it must be true

you can’t separate the two

oh no, you can’t

it’s impossible to do

just like the salt in the stew

oh my, it’s all

a part of you

one thing that life cannot do

life can’t do it no

it can’t take your song from you

Forced approach

some nitwit of an uncle wrote to st forum with this:

'Introduce legislation requiring singles to participate in at least one fully-subsidised SDU activity.'

MR LIM KENG HIAN: 'We should not overlook another related issue of too many men and women staying unmarried. The number is sizeable and is worth paying more attention to for a more comprehensive solution to boost the birth rates. The Social Development Unit (SDU) can do its part by not just waiting for these singles to register with them; they should be proactive and reach out to them. One way is to ask companies to nominate unmarried singles for their various activities, fully subsidised by the Government. If this does not work, the next step could be the mandatory approach. The SDU could compile a database of unmarried men and women above the age of 26 or older and introduce legislation requiring these singles to participate in at least one fully-subsidised SDU activity.'

i say again - NITWIT.

i am woman, hear me roar

16 weeks of maternity leave. great. up from 12 weeks from the year before. terrific. more time with her child. yeah, fantastic. and paid by the govt. impressive. *roll eyes*

have you considered how 4 months away from work disadvantages a woman in the workplace tremendously? she's virtually replaceable. it makes my blood boil when i hear of women getting fired or unreasonably dismissed just because they're expecting.

your new initiaitves make it easier for us to have more babies? all bullshit, i say. bullshit.

how about this alternative - how abt we equal out the playing field for men and women? have the 4 months shared equally between the father and the mother, and leave it to the parents to decide how they want to split the leave. and make this leave period portable for both. parenting ought to be a shared responsibility, and when employers see that both male and female have the same amount of such maternity/paternity leave, it no longer makes a difference whether his worker's male or female. then the capability on the job would count, rather than the gender. same goes for race and age btw.

but i bet you'd never have the balls to do that, would you? you still think men are more impt than women in the workforce. we're no lesser than you men, you know, you mysoginistic a**holes.

oh, and one more thing - you might want to consider extending these benefits, taxes et all, to the single mothers? i think they need it even more than the couples do.

if you want to see real change in this area, then have policies that really make a difference, send a strong signal that parenting for both men and women is impt. equalise the playing field. stop dangling a little carrot in front of us women, pay us lip service and then expect us to produce more children.

while i am appreciative that my country is trying to help, i am also flabbergasted by the assumptions that lie beneath these hand-outs. i'm guessing they are mostly made by men who fail to understand a woman's struggle in this society. maternity leave is only the tip of the iceberg. so so so much more can be done to promote equalityand get rid of gender discrimination. THAT, will solve you babies and marriage issues.

have some balls for once and make policies that actually work for women.

mad about english

go watch this. confirm funny.

the best time of day

cool summer nights

windows open

lamps burning

fruit in the bowl.

and your head on my shoulder

these the happiest moments in the day.

next to the early morning hours

of course. and the time

just before lunch

and the afternoon, and

early evening hours.
but i do love

these summer nights

even more, i think.

than those other times.

the work finished for the day.

and no one who can ever reach us now.

or ever.

poem by raymond carver

photo by stellou

i have to say i got this off brenda's blog. and its had me in giggles since.

brenda's friend, goz, who is a singaporean but lives in the uk now, so decided to be patriotic this national day and wanted to celebrate it over there. so rightfully and logically, he called up our embassy there to ask if they have a celebration party that the bunch of them singaporeans could join in. but embassy told him there wasn't such a celebration because embassy didn't know how many singaporeans are living in the uk now.

what a crap excuse. poor customer service too, i reckon.

but goz, being entirely singaporean, wanted a platform to complain. so he writes in to mr brown, who was so moved by his letter that he published it on his weblog. and you could literally hear goz get angrier and angrier as he wrote on in his letter.

damn funny. i still have this silly grin on my face just thinking about it. *heh* goz, you're all our heros today lor.